Superannuated Thoughts

If I could discover how to turn off that which makes me feel, I would.

If I could figure out how to control and change that which makes me act, I would.

If I could hack into my own mind and be able to destroy memories, I would.

At least specific parts, I would, to make the pain stop.

I wish to make, these last days of my life be soon.

But none too quick to leave me, but very quick, too soon.

The blue prints for betrayal is trust. You cannot betray someone's trust who had none in the first place.

Too many times I have played the part of the forgotten and so become the forgotten.

Playing not like a game. But with fervor and zeal, controlled by a fiend.

You steer me off course and lead me on the road of life. You bring me onto a one-way street that leads to a dead end where there is no up, only down.

I'm falling...falling, falling falling. I'll keep falling, until I hit the bottom, of this infinite pit.

Oh, God. Send me a life vest. Not to keep me from drowning in fear. But to drown my fears out.

Oh, God. Send me a parachute. Not because it will slow my falling. But it will slow my heart beat. I will not have to fear the end.

The parade is over. The marching band has passed. The calvary is gone. I am what is left.
Just me and my shell. The thoughts that inhabit this skeleton are my companions.