i moved...

to tumblr!!!


got kind of fed up with blogger and moved to tumblr.

yayaaa...!!

different blog, same chinkLIGHTNING

just lovely.

i failed at adjusting the friggin thing but oh well. sigh
the forehead is too white! but it still made me laugh.


blogspot has been ticking me off and being all PMS ishh...thinking of switching to tumblr or wordpress or something. gah but blogspot is getting annoying. especially when uploading pictures and stuff. this stupid text window that im writing in is fuggin 3 inches tall...maybe not even! oh, and i can't blog on itouch...either that or i cant figure it out >< fail. gahhhh. anyways.

*mutters under breath "freakinn blogspot."

tumblr? wordpress? livejournal? ... i deleted my xanga long ago...

hoopes i did it again.

me: what's up dude?

you: im getting kind of bored

me: let's get some food and then hit movies 4

you: what's going on?

me: what's up with all our friends?

you: let's start a rumor just to find out where it ends


cause a small town is like a small stage for teenagers and their drama instead of playing shows, we'll be showing plays. like 90210 without the beverly hills

---------------------------------

when i met w/my brother today, we ended on this note:


1 Thesselonians 5:16-18
¹⁶Be joyful always; ¹⁷pray continually; ¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

am i understood?

sometimes I'm so thankful for Your loyalty. You love regardless of the mistakes I make will spoil me. My confidence is, in a sense, a gift you've given me and I'm satisfied to realize You're all i'll ever need

You looked into my life and never stopped and You're thinking all my thoughts are so simple, but so beautiful. and then You recite my words right back to me before i even speak You let me know, I am understood.



thank You for blessing me.


i am understood

graphiks

dear blog,

im feeling very self critical today. today's mood is kind of depressing. my tongue is burning from hot chili sauce + yumcha. today/last night's word was "festival" ... we'll see what happens.

love, steven.

you caught me off guard. i had very minimal to no expectations. i thought i was to become a mere memory to you and that what we little we had would be insignificant and ephemeral. kind of like a shopping receipt to the candy you just bought at the store. a reminder of what was done. what was spent. but in the end, just a negligible reminder of an insignificant event in ones life.
i didn't think id ever see you again. i didn't think you wanted me to.
but i was wrong, so here we are now [:

-----------------------------------

you like to think you're never wrong. you have to act like you're someone. you want someone to hurt like you. you like to think you're never wrong. you try to take the best of me, go away.


i was thinking
over thinking
cause there's just too many scenarios
to analayze
look in my eyes
cause you're my dream please come true

i was thinking
over thinking
about exactly how i'm not exactly him
i'll break my heart in two
more times than you could ever do
cause you're my dream please come true

i was sinking
lower, sinking
cause i lost the things i held on to
they let me think a thought
a thought that i would know was not
of seeing my dream come true

i was thinking
over thinking
about how far i had let this go
one more guy/girl chiché
i know now you're just in the way
of me and my dream come true



yes...yes it does heal. but its never the same again.


...but thats good.

photograph pictchaa

schizo.

i can feel it. i can touch it. i can taste it.

why
because i shouldn't.

i can't feel it. i shouldn't touch it. i dont know.


...not again.

*punches self


i dont want to be dangerous to you.

im sorry that i feel this way sometimes

-----------------------------------------

i want to see this.

adam sandler is awesome.

this calls for some happier tunes :D

im happy [:


'tis a good night.

God has blessed.



Here In Your Arms


actually, this is more what im thinking though. gah what WAS i thinking.

oh well.

this IS the now.

She ain't for me, you're the one I need

She was model chick, pretty thick, in them jeans
Working at the Storm, 25th, Excuse me
Can I tell u what my name is?
You look like the kinda girl I wanna get with
She asked what kinda car I drive
I said the V12, all white with the chromes, and keep the details
And I thought she was the one for me
to please her I started actin differently
And when I met u
I thought I could be myself
You showed me lovin like nobody else
I never had to ask for nothing
with her it seems like it was always something
Now I know the choice that I should have made, shudda bin with u what else can I say
So wud u be with me
Il be yours eternally

She may have what I want
But your the one I need, I need
She may look like them girls in the videos
But your the one for me
I used to think she was so fly
and If u asked me why im with her I cudnt tell u why, oh no
It so clear to see, you’re the one I need

You told me before, I didn’t listen
Said that she was playing round, I wudnt pay attention
I tried to make it look as if we was doin fine
I didn’t wna tell myself, I wasted so much time
Now I know the choice that I should have made, shudda bin with u what else can I say,
so will u be with me
Il be yours eternally

She may have what I want
But your the one I need, I need
She may look like them girls in the videos
But your the one for me
I used to think she was so fly
But If u asked me why im with her I cudnt tell u why, no no
It so clear to see, you’re the one I need

From the bottom of my heart
I will make a change
I swear I wont put no1 else before u this time
Wanna make a brand new start
So please don’t walk away
Im not in love with her
And all that really matters is you, is you, is you

She may have what I want, girl you’re the one I need
Girl its not for me

She may have what I want
But your the one I need, your the one I need
She may look like them girls in the videos
But your the one for me
I used to think she was so fly
If u asked me why im with her I cudnt tell u why, cudnt tel u why
It so clear to see, you're the one I need

She may have what I want
But your the one I need, your the one I need
She may look like them girls in the videos
But your the one for me
I used to think she was so fly
If u asked me why im with her I cudnt tell u why,
It so clear to see, you're the one I need



...a lot of those lyrics are so wrong, but im too lazy to change them.

www.lyriczz.com ftl





sometimes i try to just be a big fish in a little pond...but sometimes not even.

*sigh...?

i like to...

imagine things like a movie.

via nom nom

a suspenseful thriller
an epic action film
a touching inspiration
a tragic love story





i try not to be too cheesy.


am i the only one who does this? loll




visionary...no, fail ><

U.nited S.tates

another late happy night.
30 songs accompanied by a reason.

Download the song playlist i made for ms yumyum

and can you tell me if the link works downloading the .zip file? thanks!



about to go out to a family dinner...yay for dinner. boo for long chinese family get togethers and blabbering old people. *sigh. or maybe im just a bit grumpy right now...i needs some shleeep *yawn

time to throw on some shizades and rock it to dinner


fin.

i was totally emo over this song

...like a little over a year ago

although, the music video seems happy ish. so...conflict of emotion when watching it. lol





one of the few country songs i really really enjoy

over 400 plays

*sighs

GAH DAH FRAH WAH BLAH.

i swear i couldnt see it until they got up really close to the car...







hehe. fun fun?








i hope you didnt die of a heart attack.

funny. haha kid cudi you weirdo.




1: can i get some popcorn?

................

1: AHH what are you doing!?

2: oh i thought you said "can i get some cop porn"

sikkk thoughts.

gahhhh. you dont own me. get away. youre nothing to me anymore.
i dont want you to be anything. i dont care anymore.

we used to care so much. i cared about you so much.

because i cant for both
my and your own sake.

be gone.

quite frankly, im excited for it. a year, huh? that a long time i guess...its crazy when i think about it but those are a thing of the past now. simply just distant memories and new things and lessons i learned tucked into the back of my head. although those times hold the most emotional pain, i wouldnt change it for the sake of everything i learned and was showed. id like to think everythings okay now...and it is in a way, but definitely not the way either of us ever expected it to be. i think, though, thats a good thing. but in a way, its a good thing i didnt know that from the beginning...i dont even know if that makes sense. thank you, God.

even though i know its highly unlikely, i have this feeling like we'll run into each other someday years from now...randomly and unexpectedly, experiencing a bitter sweet kind of moment... like in the movies. *sighs

anyways, away from the over dramatization, and back to possible reality.

today seems to be going by fairly quick. hope i can go to the bonfuego today...

you used to be my girl

but now you're just

My Girl

good morning, world.
currently in: boxers.

weeeeeee.


..........

I love the smell of your perfume
I love those sexy clothes you wear
And every little things you do
Just make me wanna be with you

And I still can’t wait to hold you girl
And I still want you here in my world

Don’t have to worry about those tears falling down from your eyes
Don’t have to worry about no secrets I won’t tell you lies
Don’t have to be ashamed just tell me girl what’s deep inside
No I won’t ever let it go I’ll make it alright

..........



i talk to myself and inanimate objects when its late at night, and early in the morning.


morning breathe. lovely

blogging like a madman

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

its 4am and i should be in bed or something...actually no
because judging on my recent sleeping pattern, the night is still young!

uhm.
its funny because
past a certain point in time at night
i start to become delirious
and i forget things the next morning
and i sometimes hallucinate
and oh well.
its fun :D



wait wtheck was i just talking about? frickk it

i hope i can find a ride to the bonfuego tomorrow...frick ill be late...and idk
but i wanna go but no ride and relatives coming over later tomorrow and cleaning room will be crap because the dad guy who i dont even know is going to be staying with me in my room and my room is a mess i bet that if you threw a grenade into my room, the end result would be cleanerrr idk what im saying weeeee.

*cracked out

*dead



Another day is going by
I'm thinking about you all the time
But you're out there
And I'm here waiting

And I wrote this letter in my head
Cuz so many things were left unsaid
But now you're gone
And I can't think straight

This could be the one last chance
To make you understand

I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Cuz somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
Cuz I know
I won't forget you

Together we broke all the rules
Dreaming of dropping out of school
And leave this place
To never come back

So now maybe after all these years
If you miss me have no fear
I'll be here
I'll be waiting

This could be the one last chance to make you understand
And I just can't let you leave me once again

I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Cuz somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
Cuz I know
I won't forget you

I close my eyes
And all I see is you
I close my eyes
I try to sleep
I can't forget you
Nanana (....)
And I'd do anything for you
Nanana (....)

I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Cuz somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me?
Cuz I know
I won't forget you

I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
There's nothing I won't do
I'd do anything
To fall asleep with you
I'd do anything
Cuz I know
I won't forget you

duckfat fries.
never had em, but just LOOk at them.
they must taste amazing.

*dips in sauce and NOMs

i talk a lot =x

Me:dang dont u get hungry too
Me: staying up this late
Lindsey: haha of course i do
Lindsey: im eatting right now
Me: pwaha
Me: sweet
Lindsey: reall unhealthy tho
Me: yeah
Me: true statement...
Lindsey:are you a meal person
Lindsey:or snack person
Me: both
Me: lol
Lindsey:hahah!
Me: i love
Me: potato
Me: chips
Me: xD
Lindsey:how come you arent a fat blob then?
Me: i am
Me: im a fat blob who thinks hes fairly skinny...ish.
Me: mind over matter
Me: i make my body not fat with my mind

no explanation necessary.

PWAHAHA. what is this!??!



me and lindsey were talking about when we googled chinkLIGHTNING and apparently i was a ranked twitter updater in california but then...twitter destroyed 3000 of my updates. and now i have less than 500 ]:


*sighs. this is funny and sad at the same time.

*scrolls through pages.


the end.

soholyromances: im playing with markers too
chinklightning: sweetness
chinklightning: this is a sharpie
chinklightning: im starting to get delirious

but fuggggg. i have to finish reading that AND pride and prejudice AND slaughter house 5...gah way to screw myself with procrastination.

i watched little kids run around the house while their parents went out to a magic show with mine.

i made chicken parmigiana + bowtie pasta and garlic bread using hot dog buns. it actually was pretty good. anyways, with a lot of help from nuoli who...is in hawaii right now. but we were communicating via video chat/meebo






to mr grannucki,

i love you bro homo.

------------------------------------

the only reason i go outside at this time of night is to go pee.

wtfreak

fricka frack.

i dont know why you act like you still like me. its been like what...3 years? and all that drama with ******** ?? wtheck was that. totally unnecessary. i doubt you even like me because you dont even know me, and i dont know you anymore, either. im sorry but i just didnt see the point of that and this. i was going no where and you weren't either. wtf wtf. you confuse and frustrate me. dizaanngg it. *shakes head i need space.

*sigh.

on a separate and random note:

i REALLYYY hate it when people play the racist card.

don't give me that "its just because im (insert minority race here)" crap.
because i'll give you "no actually its because you're being an idiot"



and another random though—

dude. kurt billoups i miss you no homo.

its—its the remix b-a-by!

Friday 5
1. i feel like throwing up right now

2. i feel hot and its night time. gross

3. oblivious people make me angry. DIEEE

4. i like to cook pasta. yumm

5. blowfish sushi is something i must try before i die. me & nom nom together





DID I STUTTER !!?!?



i waited and waited...

for nothing...

tennis today made me angry.

actually maybe just the people.
minus jen...
and minus andrew
and minus tommy
and minus danny
and minus marcin
and minus allegra and lizzie
and minus ... wait yeah. gahhh what a dbag. arrogant little shick.
at least ty wasn't there. i am not looking forward to spring semester (because of tennis)...or really fall semester for that matter either (college apps, duh)

---------------------anyways-------------------

im currently living the pedo dream.
stuck in a house with little kids for 5 hours... "babysitting"

oh mann...gah im tired. but at least i dont really have to do anything...kuz jen is doing the entertaining. haha.

guess i needed to hear that.


(nom nom)



this one wasn't even funny, but whatever




i just think its funny how people get so pissed off.

just as a general rule, forum conversations are hilarious.
whether its on bash, irc, frostwire and AIM...aha.
i love how people get so heated over petty things on the internet.

get up
get on up
get up
get on up
and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-< * nmp3bot dances :D|-< * nmp3bot dances :D/-< <[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

YOU ALL SUCK DICK
er.
hi.
A common typo.
the keys are like right next to each other.



t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right



d-_-b
how u make that inverted b?
wait
never mind

Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
Let's see the results...

"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

Ok
I have found, definitive proof
that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
O_______O
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

ahhahahahahahaha...

*sighs

Nuoli: its a nice beach day. i wish you were here. we could go cruise.

Me: uhm...sweet?

Nuoli: no homo

Me: *sighs *shoots both of us

Michelle: hahah not me!

Me: too bad ur dead too...okay fine u just lost an arm

Michelle: hahaha and what happened to you?

Me: uhm well...well the bullet bounced off my chest so im...im safe [:

Michelle: hahahah YAY we both lived! lol but i lost an arm

Me: its okay it grew back

Michelle: oh man this is magical

Me: ...but its on ur butt now

Michelle: oh...well thats cool. unique. digggin it

Me: lol its ur left arm on ur butt

Michelle: hahaha love it love it i only need my right arm anyways but typing is difficult

Me: hmm... and texting darn for u i wonder how you'll sit now because...its on ur butt omg youre gonna be like scorpion woman...think about it

haha because everytime is fail.

Michelle: steeeevie

Me: eyyy whats up michelle

Michelle: are you going to the bonfuegoo thing

Me: that what?...ohh. clever.

Michelle: bonfire?

Me: yea i think so?

Michelle: yayy maybe i'll see you. lol laura and i were gonna crash it

Me: w00t. haha because everytime we try to hang out is just fail

Michelle: yes everytime really is a fail

Me: do it! ill help. or just go along with it

Michelle: except vbs that was kinda given

Me: true. well thats like the only consistent time that we see each other every year

Michelle: but then you left for alaska!!

Me: YEAH...well hehe.

kuz last time at the bonfuego...

oh and yes that chubs and charissa to in the bg.

.........

Michelle: soo much ap bio hw before school starts on MONDAY

Me: MONDAY!? OMG good luck.

Michelle: kill me

Me: God be with you. *shoots you...wait sorry.

Michelle: hahaha

Me: well it was nice knowing u

.........


Me: dahh

Michelle: haha whats wrong?

Me: i always lose track of time and im hungry now darn

Michelle: haha eat dinner #2?

Me: omg i forgot that i had dinner at all. omg i was thinking of things to eat for dinner...but totally forgot i already ate T.T

Michelle: hahahaah you're hilarious

Me: ]: im hungry

Michelle: you like food huh? you take lots of pictures of it =] at one point your albums were always on my news feed haha

Me: nom nom. i <3 eating. but i have to slow my roll on food consumption because im gaining fat rolls. more i mean

.........

Michelle: hahaha sighh i'll sit with you in the sand and we'll reminisce on the days when we ate lots and lots of food



*sighs. im still hungry...what to do.

SUPERuseless SUPERpowers

Laser Pointer Vision
Your gaze isn't strong enough to burn through anything, just strong enough to point things out. Makes prolonged eye contact particularly awkward and painful during romantic dinners and job interviews.

------------------------------------------

In-flight flight.

Being able to soar through the air still won't save you from recycled oxygen and endless stories from complete strangers. Known as the "Cabin Sparrow," this so-called power lets you fly, but only within the confines of an airplane. At least you can leapfrog the beverage cart when explosive diarrhea strikes at 30,000 feet.

(via superuseless.blogspot)


--------------------------------------------

i need to pee now.

uhm...

我 爱 佼 字 ！！！！

the dangerous thing about them is that once i start eating them, i dont stop. theyre like sexy bundled up into a convenient...little...gyoza of awesome. idk! but theyre so yum...

and i want!




。。。。WAIT. i just realized that i already had dinner. NOOoooo. stupid diet.
FoAWK im hungry ]:
i should probably just look for fruit or something.

im really tired...uhm. besides from being up late last night and getting up early this morning, i was helping my dad move stuff from one room at work to the other...and let me tell you, i have NEVER seen so many things that make me go "what? why!? when will this EVER come in handy?...ever??"
anyways. im really tired.

time to catch up on some z's.

-------------------------------------

3 types of people i love

1. People who are REAL and HONEST.

2. People who don't take themselves too seriously.

3. People who love.




Emotional

turning to the darkside

Nuoli: man for the last 2 hours of my shift i was craving a vegie burrito. rob got me on this wierd fruit and vege crave action

Me: veggie!? DAH. WHAT HAS HE DONE

Nuoli: i kno but its a good thing...

Me: NOOOOO!!!! the heresy! *feeds you meat *throws a cow at you



you remind me of what @soholyromances once told me at camp.
about my friends. that are girls.
i dont know if i should feel flattered. or insecure.

oh how i love you, cyanide and happiness.

*reminisces back to the times of mario party and n64


have to get up early tomorrow...ish.

i am happy.

reading back on old posts is fun.

HAHA win.

*sighs. glad i dont have to be back in that time, though.


stress!!!!


yumyum [:

so sick

yumyum.

AHHHHHHHH......i haven't eaten.
and it seems like a very long time...
so what to eat!?
i want something...yummy.
and
because my parents are out...uhh...
what to eat.

what is yum??? i want something yum.


DANG IT. i wish we had more ingredients around the house...
and when i say ingredients i mean fresh ingredients. none of those canned and packaged crap.

GAH. im hungry ]:

and yet...i might be at the mercy of a cup of noodles...


NOO i refuse.

okay time to go look for something yum...

speaking of yum...




yum in the car



yum at the hotel



yum in the lobby

yum on the webcam



and of course, yum on a mother flowing boat

so wheres your umbrella?
now get your raincoat
baby i make it flood
now you gon need a boat!

this poor blog is at the mercy of the spontaneity of my mind and limited to it's creativity.

not in the mood for much.
greg is leaving tomorrow.

i think its such BS when people tell me theyll "always be there for me"...and aha they dont give a rats ass about me in the firstplace. its such a joke sometimes, i swear. almost funny but not.

currently laying on the couch like a POS but then whatever. kinda hungry. havent eaten much today...

almost got froyo with greg kristin and charissa...but...gah nvm i dont feel like blogging.

fawk it.

someone kill me now. please. clean and fast. preferrably quiet...my sister is sleeping.

my blog.

dear blog,

sometimes...the reasoning is "just because i felt like it"

and just like that, sometimes there is no reasoning at all, except that i thought it was cool at the moment and decided to do "whatever" with it.
you're mine, i do what i want. lol

but of course, most of the time there is a reason. anyways, im going to shut up and take a nap before i say/do anything more idiotic.

my most sincerest apologies.

goodbye for now,

chinkLIGHTNING. sizzle.

dear blog,

it has come to my attention that you can be extremely time consuming and a pain in the butt for reasons unspoken.
on the other hand, however, you can be entertaining and slightly therapeutic at the same time. thanks for your time.

that is all.

yours truly,
chinkLIGHTNING. yo


-----------------------------------------------

ive just been burning stuff for past hour.
leaves
ants
spiders
other miscellaneous bugs
paper
lint balls
feathers
poster boards
kumkwats...whatevers in my backyard.

its fun hearing the "pop" when torching bugs. especially spiders...and their eggs.
pwaha
gah.

*coughs.

so i wrote out a whole post...and then deleted it.

im not ready yet to say how...eh gah how lame.

oh well. its my blog. i do what i want here.

but i will say that im tired and its nap time :D

he he he...

because im home alone.

...so Scream My Name

thinking is good.
too much thinking can be bad.
and the mind is such a dangerous place, especially in times of despair, brokenness, anger, frustration...and without the right concious mind set...things can get pretty ugly.

*sigh. well off to hit the felt ball again...only 10 more minutes.

aha...

"beware of extremely passionate people...because passion can swing both ways. too often its either love or hate. and then theres not much in between.
but by all means, im not saying to avoid them, just dont be surprised when you see the other side of their passionate nature."

or is it...

*sighs well im off to tennis again.
i feel like throwing up.
headache.

stayed up last night to watch the sunrise w/ms yumyum :D

and had an interestingly long and vivid dream (and later woken up by greg...just when it was getting good)...and i wont supply particular details about that but anyways!
heres some things that were in it:
1. clowns
2. creepy catholic church
3. plane crash
4. jump house
5. ms yumyum
6. me & steve fighting douches.

surprisingly, no huge spiders or zombies. yay

------------------------------------------

i want it

i want it

i want it so bad

but sometimes im scared

and i wonder if you care

and i ask myself:
is there enough

am i enough?

but maybe im looking for self worth in the wrong places.

confused. and scared of the uncertainty.
but thats what got me here in the first place.

God bless.



seriously tired right now...

OH

and to the mofofers:

get off my back, im learning. so, OUTTA my face.

*shats on yours

peace

it always occurs to me, how lovely you look today
just how you smile that way, makes my heart melt
seemed like just yesterday, when you stole my breath away
where did you find that soul of yours
you must have traveled through heaven, and searched through the garden of love
i swear there's a light, when your eyes touch me
It's like the sun reaching down from the sky
When you touch me with your eyes,
it's like the sun from the sky.
tour whispering,
it's uplifting,
sink into my body while I'm drifting
when you kiss me, really truly kiss me
connected by our hearts, we are one
i'm in peace when im with you

----------------------------------

there was 3 of them...

i think that was...uh wait.

you'll lose money chasing women

but you won't lose women chasing money.

but chasing money you might lose love.

and chasing love you...well you might just lose everything.




and well, chasing God, you might just lose everything too, but his rewards are for eternity.

what do i do

sometimes
i swear it would just be easier

if i would just
roll over and die.


like not to be dramatic and emo ish but on the real. dang it would be so easy.
and just screw everything...*sigh
okay maybe just a little.




weeeeeee...i had a coldstone cupcake tonight.
*mouthgasm.

oh shiz my stomach just growled...and its 3:13am


what do i do.
what do i do.

help me.

if i gave you my life
would you
let it slip
through your fingers
like water in the desert

if i gave you my heart
in the deep of the night
would you hold it
like a candle
giving you light

standing on the edge of it all
she was worrying me

such a typical thing to do...

a reach of her hand

connection.

i fell in love
with a voice
in the midnight air.

sexy

i love you no homo



Save Him

p-p-p-poke.

lets go

1 step

step 2

3 step

step 4

5 step

step...screw it

uhm.




well i say fck em with a sandpaper dick.

and now i know why.

gosh i would KA at psych.

*tweet #bitches

*sigh

i wish i could spill my guts.

but mother flower. fawk

*click

inspired by nom nom (exactly)

roll call

"just looking out for numero uno"

stfu

alcohol drinking
lighting up the flame
casual sex
a player of the game
in the name of fun
fun to make a name
party it up
the crowd all does the same
temporary happiness
a void within the heart
pride and denial
tears the soul apart
escaping from the pain
thinking no one knows the same
but guard yourself
trust me when i say
a souls a dime a dozen
they feed off ones emptiness
i saw it consume my cousin
looking for happiness
in all the wrong places
searching dark corners and
lonely empty spaces
listening to the voices
they get up in your faces

...

but no
its not about you.
try humbling yourself
for a change




--------------------------------------

"No matter what i do, im always disappointing someone.
Then just make you don't disappoint the wrong people"



i try hard not to dwell on things past...but
sometimes when these thoughts come back to haunt me, i just want to soak it in. sometimes i want to remember all the pain and crap. i get hot and this anger takes over...i hate it.
i just want to let go.

--------------------------------------------

on a side note.
i think its really funny when i see one person trying to make small talk, and the other pouring out his life story...and im not sure who to feel sorry for.

no perfect lover

sometimes
theres just nothing
that you can say
to make them feel better.

but sometimes just your company alone is enough.

sovereignty.

oohh...

my sushi mac coupon expired ]:

------------------------------------

im hOngry, woman! make me a sangwichh.

*noms

discussing the topic of importance: kbbq

soholyromances: stevie

chinklightning: yo

soholyromances: i'm researching genwa. i don't think it's AYCE man

chinklightning: noooo....daaaanngg it

soholyromances: i know. i think it's more like you order andd they give you a portion to cook. the pictures look sooo good though hahah

chinklightning: a la carte makes me sad when its kbbq

soholyromances: hahahah buzzkill

chinklightning: oh well. rts is my love

soholyromances: yeah it's my fave right now. i went after camp with my family and such

chinklightning: aha...yeah i went the other night xD

soholyromances: frick you you wanna battle see who goes the most

chinklightning: they gave me a discount because im their featured reviewer lol.

soholyromances: dude

chinklightning: suck it homes

soholyromances: they let me eat fo free mah jigga! mah first time. what what

chinklightning: but thats because you was a cheap mofofer

soholyromances: LOL still jigga. ive been there like 4 times. possibly 5, you?

chinklightning: aha 5. its all gravy though. as long as im getting my kbbq fix im good lol. im sad though, that i wasted all my money at tahoe.

soholyromances: awww whatt

chinklightning: i seriously been there about 20

soholyromances: dude fick tahoe

chinklightning: yeah im sad i went there that many times and took me that long to find rts. frickkk tg

soholyromances: LOL...thats like $400!!??!

chinklightning: yeah i know ><>

soholyromances: well they're not for me man. hoenstly it's MANNA over TAHOE

chinklightning: rts > m+ tg

soholyromances: lol kk but we have YET to find a BETTER place

chinklightning: i know right! dude...*sighs.

soholyromances: but first. before that happens you and i should hit up RTS together sometime in the near future. we can tweet it, it'll be legit

chinklightning: dude...ballin.

soholyromances: the lady there is so sweet though

chinklightning: aww...you should go after her and get us kbbq hook ups.

soholyromances: AHAHAH she's like 50 dude. anyway ima get myself a carnitas bol see you

chinklightning: ...CARNE ASADA FTW!! PEACE THOUGH MY BROTHAAA.

we either debate over Tahoe Galbi vs Manna or Carnitas vs Carne Asada
...but lately, Road To Seoul has come into play. thanks to...yours truly.

*tweet tweet.

attitude wit it

i woke up at 9...fell asleep again and re-awoke at 12:30...actually my mom woke me up. and after i refused to get out of bed, she started throwing all my clothes on top of me >< style="text-align: center;">im...making 3 burger patties + 2 eggies for breakfast today. pretty hungry.

the longer i stay like this, the weirder my dreams become...

and but i must continue to fight temptation.

meet mr. smile

hello ms. yum yum

" *frozen "

acquainted yet?

cute.

butts.

*sighs...oh alaska.



5 things about me
1. i used to think that if you open the car doors while driving, the car will fly.

2. ive never had a best friend.

3. i have a really low self esteem...but im building it up.
(can't get past the mental block sometimes ><)

4. pocky is awesome...which actually isn't about me but its too awesome to go left unacknowledged.

5. i secretly love to dance...but i suck.

---------------------------------------

back in the day pains.

*takes in deep breathe

you got this mind set now
its an elevated state of mind
thinkin your elite and better than
me, than for what i have to say
i think you're awesome but you're
getting a big head,
your heart of gold is rusting
because you
lost your modest touch
not your midas touch.
but what you used to
turn to gold turns to rust
now because.
it was the fact that you
didnt think that you were
better than anyone else
that i thought you were better than
everyone else, but now that its changed
i can't help but think that
you knew how it was from my point of view
stopped unerstanding, say you can't.
but you choose to
nothing but aimless thoughts
this is what goes on in the mind
of someone whos not afraid to think
and write it down for
the world to see. non sugar coated
no trans fats.
people eat how they act
they act without considering the facts
and how other people will react to their acts.
just
how people consume food today
beast the chips, and throw
nutrition facts away
don't want to consider or
believe the results
when they are shown that what they've been doing
is unhealthy and all wrong but they don't realize til
its too late or too long
because the weight it carries
comes and shows then you're gone
because you lost all your tracks of what you
once used to be.
speaking of tracks
i lost my own train
of thought
derailed it on my own
i lost my own way.
back on task.
what i have to say is
that if you've got this far,
im truly flattered by your
dedication. something good
im glad you have to show.
if you're willing to put up with long tedious texts
like this i know
that you got something in you.
a fighting chance.
but you gotta choose a side
you gotta pick a stance
because you're going to both sides
and betraying to the other
and im unsure
of what you want
are you my enemy or my brother?
random rhymes i stick in
this text
i might jot one down
but not know where the next
one could be
because its just my train of thought
i got nothing to do
but sit and think
bout the stuff thats going through
my head.
but its only natural.
to contemplate
life
and death and to
analyze the depths of your own heart
and that longing to
meet and see the true colors of your
own self instead of judging the shades of
black in other's. and maybe
stop to take a look at your own.
stop finding the faults in everything they own
stop finding hte faults in yourself
because you've blown
everything out of proportion.
everything you've known
is twisted and bent
people wonderin what got into you
wonderin if you've lost your sense.
because you without your sense
you're hardly worth a cent because
you don't know what you're doing
with other people. because you
ignore the facts of how your actions affect the way
people react.

hold up wait.
you say its too late
you say that its broken.
too far to fix.
but its not broken the only trick is
learning how to make it work.
its all in you frame of mind
all in your state of mind
all in your mindset
the way you look at things
and take things to heart
or dust off your shoulder
its the new way to be human
inventing the way you are
a pioneer in lifestyles
new on the frontier of these grounds
of thinking. come join me.
you'll find things actually aren't that bad.
but this has been going on for days.
you're studdering and mumblin
for nights and days to replay.
both scared and angry at the way you might say
you're sittin at home like "what did he say?"
but it doesn't matter because
when i put in my two cents
i only get a penny for my thoughts
its the way things work
that when i put in my all i only get
half back. people call it a rip off
you got me on sale.
for putting in half and getting back double
but
without a coupon–
a promotional offer of myself
to you
i want things to change.

*pants for air

don't waste your life

this life here on earth is but a passing dream...but the fate of your soul is eternal





WOW. way to be portentous, steven.
but i was like...idk. im like failing at life here.

i need to stop wasting my life.

feeling so random tonight.

...and lethargic.





S: i think i need something to love.

A: just recently u told me u wanted to dance.

S: aha
yeah
fun.
*does the hokie pokey.

--------------------------------------

A: yo mamma...

S: .....

A: lol

S: DONT GO THERE.

A: lol

S: *grabs baseball bat

A: *krumps
LOL

and so mr. smile makes an appearance.

*sigh

im feeling this

im feeling that




and all the while wishing that


i wasn't feeling at all.

"yeah, i practiced 'making it rain' with 50 one dollar bills"
happy ( belated >< ) birthday ted.

sorry, my pock.

i got some POCKY.
i <3 it.
and but then its gone.
because maybe, just maybe, as Diana says, that i eat it too fast.
and i dont fully enjoy it and...*sighs.




i wish this wasn't so mood breaking.










i'm not what you think you care about.
look in the mirror and you'll see.

feelin gangsterrr.

50 Cent - Get Up


haha. funny.

uhm. i feel like getting out of my chair...
*looks around...

...and krumping

and...stuff. anyways...






woooooooooooh.

and craving something sweet.

i wish you were:

[x] here

[ ] the best







stole it from nom nom.

We Fly High (Master Remix) - Super Cr3w

Echo - Gorilla Zoe

Boom - Sin featuring T-Pain


Birthday Sex

Love Lockdown (Electro Remix) - LMFAO

ABDC Mix - Quest Crew

can you hear me?


or does what i say not mean anything?


i didn't let it bother me at first but...

all i hear is my own echo.



WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!......

weeeeeeeee....

eeeeee....

dangggggggg it.




fail.



FAwK!

i dont like
where i am
in life
right now.

dammit.

i wish i was
actually good at something
that means anything.

i can relate with you, DH.

you're mad because i dont love what you love.

this apple fell far away from the apple tree.

i wanna see
i wanna see
i wanna see you move.

i am the reason.

GET UP.

and so it takes ego.



i was finally reunited with kbbq @ Road To Seoul with mitchell and greg.
we went after i came back from Charissa's for dinner. (2 dinners is awesome!)
anyways,
its been like a whole month. gahhh...well i finally been able to satisfy my kbbq crave.






...and i was getting tired of the banner picture. stupid me and my lack of photoshop skills.
uh
FAIL

SPIDER DEATH!!!

i swear...theres a black widow invasion by my house.
a couple of weeks ago, i torched this fatty black widow...and i think its babies are back to get revenge. because in the past week, ive torched like 6 black widows. 2 yesterday, 1 today...blah blah. i mean, don't get me wrong, its fun. but then kind of scary yet blah at the same time. *shivers.
ill probably walk outside later tonight and find another one...and then torch it.

GAH i hate spiders.

DIE DIE DIE!

oh, and i started playing Spades online again ><
im a loser, i know....except when im playing Spades. i pwn.





oh oh oh...i think i've found you, passion. this forbidden love. rofl, yet darn darn darn.

...and no its not playing Spades...or torching spiders.

ahhhhh...so i found my phone charger (finallly)
silly me. it was in my backpack all along [:

anyways. i found it on the way to work, and low and behold...IT DOESN'T WORK.

FML!!

the only thing it does is cause my phone to automatically shut off, then reboot to say "Battery is required" and then shut off again, only to once again, reboot to start the cycle over again.

*sighs... so i might be looking into another phone because this enV2 business is getting ridiculous. ive had it replaced 4 times and now the charger isn't working, and the battery isn't reading!? gahhh!

------------anyways.------------

currently taking a break from work...and homework for that matter. and speaking of which im way behind on. (shiz!)

anyways, i think tomorrow is kbbq night. uhm...
yeah. because i miss it...a lot. its been like a month.

btw. i got a haircut. and i dont like it. hopefully it gets a little longer before school starts. eshhh...i dont even want to start thinking back to my senior portraits -___-"

blah blah blah.

im tired.

OKAY SO.

i still reeeeeeeely want sushi...



it has been on my mind for a ridiculous amount of time now.

SUSHI.

inept

i shouldn't have to feel this way.


You did it to yourself
Now you're all by your self
Acting like you hate me
I left because you made me
You played me to the left
Now there's nobody left
To hear your complaining
Just went with the flow
Found myself on the floor
When you went away
All my pain went astray
Like it's a new day

------------------------------------------

you think you have it all figured out.
you think you can see through me.
you think you understand me. but you don't know jack shizt.

you dont even know the first thing about me

to make all of those assumptions is a dick move
so be careful of what you say.
so you think you've got a higher level of understanding on the situation?
the reality of the fact is you know nothing.
all you see is the outside
because you're just a dipsht on the outside
who is quick to judge
and slow to listen
you're not my friend
and you definitely dont know me.
so stop acting like you do.

-----------------------------------------

everything is shaking...


......


okay im good.

admit it,
you do it for yourself, not me.

---------------------------------

oh mother fudge.
(actually fudge sounds really yum right now)...BUT
i was really craving kbbQ earlier today when me and Nuoli were talking food this morning...before sen10r portraits.
ANYWAYS. and recently ive been craving sushi a lot...a lot. like every day...recently.

District 9

so...

i went to The Bridge with Mitchell and Jake to see District 9...grabbed some toquitos
anyways...we were one of the last ones in the theater and we sat in the front row...
BIG mistake.
gave me a killer headache from all of the shaking camera work and since the front row is so up close, you're practically looking up instead of forward at the screen.
anyways. aside from that. i liked it. sweetnesssss.....

but now i have to puke...
and but at least i'll be reunited with my friends, toquitos + guacamole! :D

(sick.)

---------------------------------------

Ash made a cover of Mad by Ne-Yo for me


shhh...she didnt know i took screen shots of the vid chat =x

...

so, i was really impressed because she did it all by ear
and managed to do it in only a few hours.
i, personally had a bad experience with piano
(i swear my teacher hated me)
but i think covers are really cool.
i love to hear non-piano songs that im familiar performed on the piano...
it has this...awe inspiring kind of feeling to it. like watching the piece come alive
because you can also sense the feeling through the composer.
idk if that makes any sense, but it does in my head.
and i still have a headache from District 9, so excuse me.

anyways, it was pretty much super awesome and made my day.

...and i think ill end on that high note :D






:D thanks again, ash!

senior portraits.

just got back from school senior portraits.

UHm........

DANG IT!!

MOTHER LOVER ]:
there was like 18 different pictures and i look OK in 2. not GOOD, but OK...as in just not extremely terrible. the others are epic ugliness fails...wait im not sure that makes sense. but BLAHHHH DA BLAHHHHSHEEEEPs.


*shoots self

emotional

This is how I feel everytime I'm around you
I just lose control when I'm in the same room

i get so...








I'm struggling with reality, it hurts more everyday
I been blaming you for makin me feel this way
and now I'm crushed without your love

--end quote*

---------------------------------------------

*shuffles

i wont let you determine my happiness.

*switches songs.

pour out your heart and soul
because it dont matter

they dont give a dime
about
what you say

pessimistic?






but deep down, isn't that what we all want?

sickkkk.

OHHH...!!!!

ohhhhhh SHNIKES!!!!

SWEET

MOTHER OF

OPTIUMUS PRIME

I GOT IT

TO WORK!!!

...finally conquered the little uncooperative crapcake.
pathetic that im talking about an inanimate object.
another reason why i win in my own way [:

so im hiding from my AP calc homework...

ask me why i dont.
i'll show you a year down the Left road, the scars on my heart and the painful yearning i'll be holding.
no amount of me will ever leave you content. my gestures are sincere but your ease is ephemeral. ill easily slip through the fingers and past the lasting memories i wish to be cradled within.
why must you be so far.
why must you seem so distant.
because its not about you
and its not about me,
but us.

these emotions are what give us our humanity...and allow us the ability to think and act irrationally.
and yet, i enjoy the spontaneity. God bless.

"Love is a choice, not an emotion."

i have a feeling that i am not wanted in these parts right now.

i am confident that this time, i should not disturb you through contact.

"i like who i am
when we
are around us"

oh...shnaps i just found a grain of rice chillin on my chin. *wipes
weird...kuz i dont remember having any rice today... HMmmm... (sick.)



God is love
and
Love is real.


guess its time to cheer up.

As the angels fly above
I wonder why
You took so long to find this song here
When the sun hits those eyes,
And under this fear I start to cry.
`Cause now you`re, you're here

Life without you girl was a hurtful game
I tried to leave this world,
Couldn`t take the pain
But here we are,
And we`ve come so far.
My love, my love
We`re in heaven, I got us now
We`re in heaven, we made it somehow.
How'd we get this to come true
`Cause I`m here in front of you.
I felt the love from up above,
Here in heaven.

Girl, you left me too soon
Why`d I take your number
You should`ve took my number.
Oh, God, why
`Cause I keep looking for your kiss
In other women's lips
I`m longing for your touch
While all I need so much is you.

Life without you girl was a hurtful game
I tried to leave this world,
Couldn`t take the pain
But here we are,
And we`ve come so far.
My love, my love
We`re in heaven, I got us now
We`re in heaven, we made it somehow.
How'd we get this to come true
`Cause I`m here in front of you.
I felt the love from up above,
Here in heaven.

finally home from camp and whattt

okay i have a quick confession...blogging about every awesome thing is too hard for me because there has been too much awesomeness lately and i am terrible at keeping up this blog. okay well anyways, i was out for the past 3-4 weeks at mt hermon and redwood camp...in the bay area, sacramento and...well its been pretty great. im feeling a little under the weather still, and a little lazy also...so im gonna make this fairly short by just slapping in a couple of pictures and leaving some text. awesome? okay.








FINALLY HOME...
sad and happy.

...i miss everyone!...everything...
the camp, the people, the experience...everything!...but the food.
anyways, im glad i finally got a good nights rest...

im pretty much over the satan flu...but i still have a sore throat.



s: gahhh im hungry

t: haha
arent u always?
so am i actually
-.-
lol

s: true statement

oh yeah...and this happened on the way home


*sigh.

plus, since i wasn't feeling all too well...it sucked a lot.

p.s. love the family. love you d-wreck. thanks everyone.